Humble Negotiation is the KEY to Success

Humble Negotiation is the KEY to Success

We all know the negation is part of everyday life. We get to negotiate when we ask for a raise. We get the opportunity when we are being hired. How about every day negotiating where to get gas, or coffee or even lunch. I even negotiate with my wife. Well honey if I cook, will you wash dishes? Negotiating is something we do every day. The key is to make sure every negotiation is humble.

As I mentioned we started negotiating at a very young age, we might not realize that we were negotiating but we were definitely going it. I’ll eat my greens if I can have a piece of candy after dinner. Alternatively, my personal favorite was mom I’ll feed the cat if you clean out their litter box. (I did not win that one very often, but when I did, boy was it sweet.) We have all seen the child throwing a fit in public attempting to get their way. Do they win? Not very often, in our house that never worked. Shoot one time I walked away from the child for a minute then come back and look directly at them and said, “who are your parents?” the kid looked back up at me and started laughing. Me on the other hand, I was not impressed. There were also times where one of my children would come up to me and say, “dad I washed all of the dishes, is there a possibility we could watch a movie, and stay up a little late?” They were negotiating with humility; I was much more likely to meet then in the middle when they did this.

How do you handle your negotiations at work? Do you yet upset when you don’t get your way? What about when you are asking for a raise or days off? I have even had to negotiate to get my voice heard. Heck there were times that I had to negotiate with operations to get them to follow federal regulations. Here are a few tips to help your negotiations stay humble and improve your chances of striking a deal.

1.   Don’t get angry. Getting angry is a sure fire way to loose every time. It shows that you don’t have control over your emotions. I’ve heard it said that it shows passion. NO WAY! It shows weakness, it shows that you cant handle yourself let alone what you asking for.

2.   Brainstorm different scenarios before you go into the meeting. Take a few minutes and think about different possibilities. Think about where the conversation might go questions that might be asked, statements that might be made.

3.   Look at the deal from their point of view. This ties directly into number 2 take a few moments and think about what you’re asking from the other side. Let’s say it’s a raise. If they have had to lay off several employees in the company there is a good chance that there truly isn’t any funds to spread out right now. If it is a promotion, maybe there are others that more or equally qualified for the position. No matter what you are, negotiating through look at it from their point to see if it’s a good deal, or of the deal is one sided.

4.   Don’t get in a hurry to get an answer. Negations take time, rushing one will sure not end in your favor. So many times sales people use the buy now technique they use your sense of this deal won’t last, to get you to make an impulse buy. Learn when it’s being done to you and also NEVER use that technique. You might get the answer you want today, but it won’t be the answer you need tomorrow.

5.   Be honest. You have to be honest with yourself as well as the other party. Be honest as to what you really want. Be honest as to what you are willing to risk and do in order to make the deal.

6.   Don’t make false statements to get your way. Look at the liberals that publicly announced that they would leave the country if Trump were elected to president. They thought they would convince people across the nation that if they didn’t get their way then we would never see their face on the movie screen again. I’m pretty sure that one of them has moved to Canada yet.

7.   Don’t be afraid to re-negotiate. Things change, it’s ok to circle back and make changes.

8.   Start small. So often, we start too big, asking for too much thinking that we can go smaller. Have you ever tried starting small and then asking for a little more until we have reached the ultimate outcome?


There are many people who are expert negotiators in this big ole world. I definitely don’t claim to be one of those people. What I can say is that I learn from everyone. Abraham was a great and humble negotiator; he is one of the only people to walk this earth to actually negotiate with God. In Genesis 18:22-33 Abraham negotiated with God to allow the righteous people to leave the cities of Sodom and Gomora before he destroyed them. Below I have included the scripture of his negotiation. I ask that you read it with the intent to learn better negotiation skills.

Next time you start to negotiate something with anyone, take a few moments and think about how you like to be treated if you were on the other end of the negotiation. Also, think about how you might maneuver the conversation to be heard without becoming arrogant or angry. There is always a way to get what you need. Lastly remember that if you don’t negotiate, you don’t have opportunity to learn, and if the negotiation fails, there is always next time.

“The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord. Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.” Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?” “If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.” Once again, he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?” He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.” Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?” He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.” Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?” He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.” Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?” He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.” When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.”

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