Hey guys, hope that you are having a wicked awesome day so far and that you are living the life that you love.
Because that is probably the most important part of life that sometimes we forget. Or at least I forget sometimes.
The other day I had a conversation with a young lady after training that I put on.
She came up to me afterward after everyone left the room and said, “Dan this was probably the best training that I have ever been to. You did a great job making it relate to everyone in the room especially me. Most of the time when I go to training being a young woman in a room full of guys I feel out of place. But today I felt like I BELONGED here. Thank you!”
What do you say to that?
After a little awkward silence, I could see that she didn’t just want to tell me that. She had other reasons for coming over to see me. So, I asked her what caused her to come to the training.
I got the typical answer, My boss made me. Lol
After some more casual small talk she was still hanging around, so I kept digging and finally, she started to open up.
“Dan as you know I work in an industry that is full of guys, and sometimes being a young female I feel a little out of place. Do you have any suggestions that might help me feel less out of place?”
YOU BET I DO!!!!
Being a leader in the industry our team is mostly made up of ladies and let me tell you my whole team is awesome, and we all pull out the weight.
And when someone is not pulling their weight, they know it and find out pretty darn quick that they better shape up or ship out.
But that is for another blog……
The advice I gave her was something that I learned a few years ago and really wished that someone would have told me when I was 22.
What I told her was that her gender is not a determining factor in any position in today’s world. it might have made a difference back in the early 1900s and before, but not anymore.
The only thing that is holding you back from being ULTRA successful is your own mind.
I thought maybe she would give me a look and roll her eyes at me like most people do when I give them such a simple and straightforward answer.
But instead, she paused for a second reflecting on what she just heard, and said, “That is so true. I haven’t advocated for myself and to be 100% honest I don’t really have any goals set in my life to help give me a true direction.”
We chatted a bit more and I found her more about her situation. This is something that I really like doing because it gives me the opportunity to learn about all the circumstances.
There is always at least a few circumstances in everyone’s life that are causing these doubts and disbelief.
After a while, she asked if I had any advice on how to change her mindset and really propel herself forward.
I gave her a few books to read that changed my entire life. Like Napoleon Hills Think and Grow Rich. And of course, Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People.
Before she left I asked her what she really wanted to do and where she wanted to go. In other words what were her goals and her purpose in life?
She said I don’t know.
We worked through a small goal-setting process that I use all the time.
By the end, she was a whole new person and had a whole new outlook on where she wanted to go.
You see when we set goals we create what Napoleon Hill calls Definiteness of Purpose. When we have a purpose it is easier to create the route.
The way I explained it to her was, that if you don’t know where you want to go and jump in the car and start driving you might be moving but if it’s in the wrong direction and you finally figure it out after 2 days of driving you might be farther away from your destination then if you would have just held tight.
Does that make sense???
As leaders, it is our job to help others find their purpose and passion.
NOT OURS, but theirs!
As a leader do you push others to be better even if it’s not what’s best for you???
I am so grateful that she took the time to jump out of her comfort zone and chat with me.
That right there is why I always hang around after every live event making myself accessible to everyone who attended.
You never know who God will introduce you to, and how might be able to help them!
Update on Jill (not her real name)!
We chatted the other day again after she had read both books and she sent me the goals that she built for herself.
Now that she has a destination in mind, I encouraged her to make the hard decisions that were going to help her get to the final destination.
The other thing that I did was encourage her to think bigger!
A lot of times we don’t think as big as god has plans for us.
Because God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. And we are all called to do something, but it is our choice whether we pick up the task and take action or stay on the sidelines.
I am pleased to say that we are currently in negotiations to have her join the Eclipse DOT team!!! And I couldn’t be more excited to potentially bring her into the Eclipse Family!!!
But the choice is hers!
Just like the choice to change your life is yours! Will you make the change and get in the game, or will you be a bench warmer sitting there waiting for someone to tell you to get in the game???
Take that chance and get out there.